I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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