I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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