i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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