I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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