Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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