if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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