we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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