Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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