By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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