So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize