They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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