if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize