Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We have started to decorate penises.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize