pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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