So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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