Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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