I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize