just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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