Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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