Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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