so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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