I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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