Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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