the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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