it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize