I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize