I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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