Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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