mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My hand turned me down
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize