How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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