fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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