The maid of honor just puked.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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