Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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