You really coming over, don't trick.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize