I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize