You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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