We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize