he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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