last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize