Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize