And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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