Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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