sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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