I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize