it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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