I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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