found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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