WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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