do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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