he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize