I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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